tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30439558181037902842024-02-08T11:19:01.264-08:00Elly May.... Just talkinEllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-50913875668513752372012-08-15T07:55:00.000-07:002012-08-15T07:55:51.453-07:00Natural Lady DefensesSo I was sitting here at work, playing a game on my iPad (aka busy at work) when I reached down to scratch my leg and I discovered something, my legs are hairy. I started thinking I should have shaved my legs BEFORE wearing shorts today but then I thought why should I? Honestly, no one should be close enough to know if I have shaved or not except my hubby who is not here, so why should I shave? Then it hit me and ladies this is huge! Just think about it, God gave us hairy legs, it's a fact, I like to think its extra insulation for the winter months ( or thats what I tell myself) but society told us we have to shave so we shave. Why do we shave? Well it's just nicer, I even enjoy it when I have clean shaven legs, I mean who enjoys getting into a bed with freshly washed sheets, you slide in starting to drift off to imagination land when you shift your legs and all your legs hairs pop through the baby holes in the sheets? Not a very nice feeling and not really sexy, let's be real. So this is the. Inclusion I have come to: we shave to get the fellows and once we get then, we slack off a little (not completely) but when our men are away ladies I say let the hair fly! Seriously it's a natural God given defense system! Who would wanna flirt with a girl with as much leg hair as your dad? I mean I guess some people are into that........ Think about it, God has given us ladies some ways to be left alone, society will say they are imperfections but embrace them! Here is a list of natural defense systems God has gifted us with:<br />
1) hairy legs<br />
2) morning breathe ( no smoochies)<br />
3) bed head<br />
4) crop dusting ( works every time)<br />
5) PMS ( work it girls)<br />
6) arm pit hair<br />
7) food in your teeth ( leave it in and be left alone)<br />
8) don't bathe ( sounds so simple and yet so effective)<br />
9) when you have to sneeze, sneeze on your admirer<br />
10) really dig in when you have a wedgie<br />
11) don't pluck your eyebrows<br />
12) don't wear deodorant (smell is a big thing)<br />
<br />
Alright, I know I went a little overboard here, some of these things men can do as well but sometimes it is more surprising when women do it (like hairy arm pits). So ladies, when you are going out with the ladies and you just wanna be left alone by all the fellas ( and they will come because let's face it, your hot) I would choose one of these tactics. I can pretty much guarantee each one of these personally! Sometimes when you do these so often and you get lost in the crowd, when you really put in effort and clean up, you get the WOW factor which is worth it! (trust me, I am experienced). Until next time......EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-16423348959198516842012-05-15T19:40:00.000-07:002012-05-15T19:40:18.936-07:00I want to be a Super Hero<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I don’t care if you are a boy or a girl, but at one point
in your life you have wanted to be a super hero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go ahead and admit it, we all have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(To clear the air yes I did see The Avengers and
yes my blog topic is influenced by what I have recently experienced in my life)
So while watching the Avengers for the second time it made me wonder, hmmm if I
was a super hero what would my name be??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want my name to reflect me as a person, be intimidating but not give
away too much as to what my super powers would be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the list of names I have come up with
so far: (these are all copy righted material, so don’t steal)</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Hyena</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super power: kills with comedy</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bitc# Pudding</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level2 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super power: sweet but feisty, throws puddin’
that slows villains down enough for me to yell insults that cause them to cry
and run away</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Smore Pain</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super power: throws pipin’ hot marshmallows at
people!</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Slap-A-Hoe</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level2 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: originally from the Slap-A-Hoe
tribe, I will slap-a-hoe, pretty self explanatory</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Baklava </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: has permanent sun burnt
peely/flakey skin, able to peel off booboos</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Red Coaster</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo3; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: removes the crime rings, get it? Coasters
prevent glasses from leaving rings…haha… the red part just makes it sound
scarier</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Black Raven</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level2 lfo4; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: can fly and poop marshmallow cream
causing villains to be stuck in place</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lady Crop Dust</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level2 lfo4; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: crop dusts deadly amounts of
methane, paralyzing the enemy (I added the lady part to class it up a little
bit)</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Booger Babe</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level2 lfo5; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: flicks boogers with deadly accuracy</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l5 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stealth Paper Cut</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l5 level2 lfo5; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: sneaks in while you sleep and paper
cut you in between your toes</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lethal Lego Lady</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level2 lfo6; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: A) everything I build with Legos
becomes real or B) I leave them laying around on the floor and turn the lights
off, causing the enemy to walk on my Legos…barefooted<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I like both choices)</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l6 level1 lfo7; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She Shart</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 1in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l6 level2 lfo7; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Super Power: just when you think you are
positive what my super power is, something unexpected pops out ;)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These are the name/ super powers I have come up
with so far…. There are a lot of really amazing choices here, try to contain
your excitement and don’t worry as soon as my comic book hits the shelves I will
let you know!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean I don’t know about
you but all of these strike fear deep down in my heart and gives me chills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Apply music) If there’s something strange in
your neighborhood who ya gonna call?? (Insert name from list above!) Until next
time….</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-1977438211094651552012-05-11T07:56:00.000-07:002012-05-11T07:56:38.750-07:00This One Goes Out to all the Mommas<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sunday is yo momma day (if you forgot you might want to get on that) and to honor this yearly celebration I thought this week’s blog would be all about moms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared with my mom that this was going to be the topic for this week and I believe she thinks I am going to embarrass her throughout this whole blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all I am offended, I don’t make fun of you all the time (just 3/4ths of it) and second I am not going to be just talking about you because as all you southern folks know, southern kids are raised by multiple moms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we think about our moms we think of the ladies who taught us how to live as a human being, for example washing clothes, cook biscuits, and match your clothes (I failed here) amongst a bunch of other little things that go over-looked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to discuss those things our mother’s taught us that we don’t really think about; here is a list of examples:</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to blow your nose, I mean think about it… when your small they do it for you so sooner or later they have to teach you how to</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to go to the bathroom, have we ever thanked them for this one because to me it’s pretty important!</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to dress yourself, like I said my mom (amongst a gaggle of other ladies) tried to teach me this one and I continue to fail</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to put a puzzle together</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to tie your shoes</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to give a high five (dad might have played a hand on this one as well) (haha get it? played a HAND)</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to skate, do people skate anymore? It’s a dying art form</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to groom yourself IE. Fix your hair, brush your teeth, use Q-tips without poking your brain, cut your fingernails</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to dance, well at least move to the music because I can’t dance…neither can my mom… that comment was not offensive because she will agree with me</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to put on make-up (fail) this one only applies to girls and a numbered few guys</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to cook, we would all be starved if<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it wasn’t for them and if you can’t cook, they taught you how to work the microwave/ can opener at least</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Build a sand castle that your older sibling destroys as soon as you are done</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">13.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Cross your legs (ladies only and also men who wear short shorts)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">14.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Decorate your home…maybe…</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">15.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to work the TV changer…. If they taught you how to do it then they wouldn’t have to do it for you aka they could have a moment of zen</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">16.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take the pop-tart out of the wrapper BEFORE you put it in the microwave</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">17.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t pee in the shower</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">18.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t cut your own hair</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">19.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t shower and use the hairdryer at the same time</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">20.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Always wear clean underwear</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, I would like to take this time to share some of my favorite things that my mom/ moms taught me/ said to me:</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“make friends not families”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“pull up your pants”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“this tastes like s#i!” (taught me to admit if something you make tastes like s#**)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“opps! I blew my nose and pooted” (don’t blow your nose when you have one in the chamber)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“chicken touch-your-weenie” ( aka chicken tetrazzini)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“you can’t shower or you will turn to concrete” (me and a friend played in dried concrete powder….)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“don’t let one slip when you think it’s going to be silent because it won’t be” (especially on a marble bench)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“stop beating that boy up”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I didn’t know you were smart”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I need some chocolate” (I use this one all the time)</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“why can’t you be more like your sister?”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">13.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“I sharted”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">14.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“whats the shocker?”</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">15.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“whats tea bagging?” (#14 &15 were quite the conversation….)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Well friends, family, countrymen… our mothers are a pretty significant part of our lives (whether they suck or not) (no mom you don’t suck).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without them, we would be starving, naked, have tons of ear wax built up and boogers all over the place so I guess we owe them a thank you at least once a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, moms of the world thank you for all the big things and little things you taught us to do but more importantly thank you for putting up with our stupidity for our whole lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love you and without you we wouldn’t be here…literally… we wouldn’t be here…. Until next time…</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-681551116205615992012-05-01T07:32:00.001-07:002012-05-01T07:32:36.431-07:00From Your Friendly Neighborhood Chef<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear friends and family,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As many of you know I went to culinary school and if you didn’t know…. now you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now there are a few things that I would like to get off my chest about us chef people, I can only speak on behalf of myself but I know for a fact some of my fellow culinarians would agree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">How to spot a chef:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our pants, when in doubt always look for the classic black and white pants</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We refer to our fridge at home as a reach in</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we are in the grocery store and we are behind someone who is slow, we say “behind”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We buy 50# bags of flour</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We use the # symbol to mean pounds</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We type our recipes differently than the average cook</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We get offended when we are called a “cook”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We date and label everything in our fridge</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We treat our knives better then we treat ourselves</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are covered with knife and burn scars</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We drool when we pass a kitchen gadget store</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When carrying something hot behind someone, we yell out “hot”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We go through more hand soap then the average person, which is probably not a good sign for other people</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have giant rolls of plastic wrap</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Use towels instead of oven mitts</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alright, now that we can all recognize a chef a little easier, here are some things that get under our skin as chefs, so we will call this section:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just because I am a chef:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I don’t burn food while cooking (burned popcorn a few weeks ago)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I don’t make mistakes (we all can’t be beef baby’s dad)(I went to school with him and everything he touched was amazing, he could even crop dust past something and it would turn into a masterpiece…. I tried it and my food just tasted like fart)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I know EVERYTHING about food (surprise… I still struggle telling herbs apart…sometimes....)</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I DVR EVERYTHING on food network (do you enjoy working 8 hours a day in the office then go home and watch TV shows about working in an office?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I could compete on Chopped or Iron Chef (have you been to my house to eat? Come over and you will change your mind about me competing)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I like getting phone calls at 1 AM from someone with a food/ beverage question</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I know how to make everything under the sun (our brains are only so big, some are bigger than others buttt)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I eat everything God created (we are still allowed to be picky)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I am against frozen food (ask my man, we eat frozen crap all the time)(I did intentionally use the word crap because most of that stuff tastes like crap)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does not mean I am the best chef in the world (this might be up for debate….alright I am not even close)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know some of these might come as a shock to you and I am sorry, I should have prepared you for this but I just felt it my duty as a chef to shed some light on our super weird culinary universe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are a special breed of people who look like serial killers while we sharpen our knives (we usually have creepy smiles on our face), love tattoos, usually have a potty mouth, awkwardly strong (we lift 50# bags of flour) and have the most comfy work wardrobe to name a few things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you enjoyed your peek into my chef life and your opinion of “chef me” hasn’t dropped too much. (I can cook I promise!) (seriously…I can cook)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until next time….. </span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-63444382886247292382012-04-24T09:16:00.001-07:002012-04-24T09:16:17.980-07:00Dirty Dishes<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I have to apologize for not writing for about a month and a half…. I felt like I didn’t have anything super awesome to write about and I didn’t want to write something half “butt” (got to keep it clean for the kids) so I waited until something really jumped out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I think I have got that topic right here but I feel like I should fill you in on what has happened to me since I last posted… I will do this in 25 words or less! Here we go:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Asheville, bar hoping, eating, pee in friends bed (not me), Jew dinner, horse radish, lady time, Hunger Games again, cake drama, book “writing”, dream job?, flash mob</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you would like to know more about these events, just ask! I shall explain!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alright, people have always told me I should have a show (be it radio or TV) because apparently I am “interesting to listen to”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have taken this as a complement, I mean I enjoy listening to myself, so if you ever come over and find me talking to myself don’t worry about it, it happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, me and my sister were talking yesterday and we finally decided on what kind of show I should have, wait for it… a late night cooking show! Blam! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let me explain, the show would be called <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>Dirty Dishes</u></i></b> for multiple reasons but the main reason is that on my show it would be acceptable/ expected to discuss taboo topics like wieners and boobs, ya know those type things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is where I would like to reinforce the fact that this show is for late night TV, not for the kiddies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is what I was thinking, I would have some celebrity on the show and we would discuss anything from what’s happening in their career to how they feel about picking wedgies in public.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now my show would be different than other “gossip” cooking shows because I would ask the questions that people really want to know (like would they rather sweat green slime or fart blue smoke?), plus while we were chatting and cooking, we would also be having a few drinks so throughout the show the truth would come out eventually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think this would pull a large audience because it would be a mix of Ellen, Chelsea Latley and food…. Can’t get any better then that right?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many of yall would watch it?? Don’t lie, you know you would love too!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So does anyone have any ideas on how to get this started??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone want to sponsor me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be a great investment!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about it… until next time….</span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-31119598296616472942012-03-12T08:06:00.000-07:002012-03-12T08:06:18.872-07:00VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Breaking News!!! Now before I reveal my big news, I would like to say a few things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have put a lot of time and thought into this, been working on it for about a year putting things together and keeping it on the down-low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know some people say that they are just a magnet for random weird things happening to them but I am defiantly a magnet for this kind of stuff!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you really know me I am sure you are flipping through a bunch of things that you have witnessed or heard about over the time we have known each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have experienced some crazy things in my 25 years here on this earth and I decided I wanted to share this with people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean when I tell these stories to people they enjoy them a lot so I thought, why not write a book containing all my stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So ladies and gentleman, I am going to write a book!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been putting a lot of stuff together over the past year but I want to get other people’s opinions too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this is where you all come in!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there is a story that you think should be included please send it to me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have tons of stories so I am afraid I might have left some out so please send me some of your favorites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you guys are as excited about this as I am, it’s going to take a while to put everything together so bear with me but if this does well, I won’t forget everyone who helped!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So please send me some stories either over Facebook, email, snail mail, however you need to get it to me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, if we have some crazy pictures together please send those too, sometimes you need a picture to help move the story along</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really need your help guys!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks in advance for the stories!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until next time…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-54513023136763111822012-03-05T11:03:00.000-08:002012-03-05T11:03:27.316-08:00Southern Belle 2012<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I recently read an article about what it means to be a southern belle now compared to what it was back in the day.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(</span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fgardenandgun.com%2Farticle%2Fsouthern-women&h=aAQFPG81j"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fgardenandgun.com%2Farticle%2Fsouthern-women&h=aAQFPG81j</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">) (Original article)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I just had a few things I would like to add to this article.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I am not what anyone would consider a southern “belle” but I am a southern girl so I feel like I am allowed to share my opinions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We southern people are a proud bunch!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I LOVE the fact that I am southern for multiple reasons:: Cough Cough:: Bojangles<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>::Cough Cough:: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>home cooked meals, recipes passed down from before anyone can remember, family traditions, antiques and the list goes on!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is just something about sitting down with your family at the dinner table every night and eating the made from scratch chicken pot pie your mom made, nothing can top it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly feel bad for people who don’t grow up down here; they don’t get to feel the special southern feeling that I can’t seem to find the words to describe.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, back in the day when people would talk about Southern belles the first thing that would come to people’s minds would be ball gowns, fancy (big) hair, painted nails, house wife and beauty queens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it goes without saying but I would not have been able to survive in these kinds of conditions!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom would have killed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I completely agree with this article, things have defiantly changed (which for ladies like me is awesome).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are some changes I have noticed:</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take out ball gowns and add in overalls and camo, look around a lot of super southern ladies wear whatever is comfy for them, and we can’t go hunting in dresses now can we? Well we could but…</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We carry guns!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not just the men who have gun racks in the back of their trucks, ask my cousin the bear killer</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We drive big a$$ trucks too, helps us run people over for the sales</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We still cook, but I feel like we don’t just stick to our old family recipes we like to add our own</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We speak our mind, even around our men… actually probably around our men more than anyone else</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We still gossip we just call it prayer requests</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A lot of us work full time after we have kids, along with taking care of the kids/ house</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our hair isn’t as big and we don’t wear hats as often (which kind of makes me sad…the hats part)</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Couponing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We don’t make clothes anymore </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I wish we did it sure would save some money!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t wear gloves</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We beat our kids, well I mean don’t beat but we punish and sometimes in public with the eagle talon….</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">13.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We fart and burp… a lot…. Well this varies from person to person but we aren’t embarrassed when it happen (most of us) we brag about it!</span></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The major things are still intact like hospitality and things… but the southern belle has gone through a transformation!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We adapt with the times but no matter how many trees we climb or guns we shoot, there will always be a little belle inside of all of us </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> until next time….</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-53028478535590996482012-02-23T19:42:00.000-08:002012-02-23T19:42:03.074-08:00This One Goes Out To All My Ladies<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">**Warning for the men- this blog will discuss some lady only topics, I am not saying you can’t read it I am just saying prepare yourself**</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alright ladies there are some things I need to get off my chest and yes this is in regards to everyone’s favorite time of the month, ladies time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now in my household we do not refer to it by its real name because that’s gross we call it ladies time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We also do not refer to the ‘items by their real name either we mostly call those push pops (my husband invented that) but I have also heard them referred to as plungers, pooter plugs (this one is not accurate) mense mops, plug in, cotton pony, roadblock, rat-tail, vaginal vampires (lol), pig in a blanket, manhole covers, pink pop tarts, and the red carpet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I personally think it is way more fun to call it something else then the obvious but then again I am 2 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole reasoning behind this blog though was I noticed something the other day when I was cleaning out my bathroom cabinet, there are motivational sayings written on the outside wrapper of my push pops, seriously I am not kidding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know why anyone would choose to write something there, we don’t buy them to read our fortune but after making this discovery I emptied the box onto the floor so I could read everything they had to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found things like smile, life is a sport, always take the high road and shoot for the stars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel bad for the marketing people who have had to stoop to the level of writing the quips for the tampon wrappers, times ARE hard!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, I would like to discuss another kind of wrapper I believe they are Kotex ones but those wrappers are like fluorescent bright colors!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like the colors you would wear to the bowling alley on the nights they have the black lights on!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean come on really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want the whole office to know I am on my ladies time because I don’t care what color pants you are wearing those colors will shine through anything!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the marketing team thought they would look like glow sticks or something but they failed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heres the deal, everyone knows about ladies time and we have all accepted it but nobody wants/ needs to know when it’s your ladies time because you are carrying a glow stick with you to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best part about the glow stick plungers is that they are the small concealed kind, you know the ones where they are half the size so you can hide them in your pocket better…well ya failed design team because they might fit in your pocket better but the super bright colors might give them away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Men, why is it so terrifying to you to touch or even talk about lady items?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked my husband before we got married if I was at home sick or something and I needed some supplies if he would go to the store for me and you know what he said? He said he would text one of my lady friends to go get them for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I asked what was he going to do when our 13 year old daughter needed to go to the store for some, he replied he would pull up to the target and push her out of the car to go get some.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t really understand why they are so afraid of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One time on a mission trip the boys snuck into our room and switched off our circuit breakers, well we went into their room and silly stringed all their stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We knew they were going to retaliate so we decided to booby trap our room and we took all of our feminine supplies and threw them all over the room and man did it work!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next time we saw them it was like they had seen a ghost!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Works every time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So girls if there is only 1 cookie left and you don’t want your man to eat it just place it on a pad and you are golden!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until next time…..</span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-64765683319932711662012-02-21T09:40:00.000-08:002012-02-21T09:40:24.700-08:00Red Headed Fail<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you ever hyped something up so much and then when time came to reveal your surprise, it was a flop?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My old roomie threw a party for her birthday and it was a themed party, dress as your favorite red head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You could be a movie character, cartoon or someone from a book and I choose Effie from the Hunger Games*.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t share with my roomie who I was going to be because we are both HUGE fans of the books and I wanted it to be a surprise so I kept it a secret even though she kept begging for me to tell her (might I add it is extremely hard for me to keep a secret, ask my husband I always tells him what he is getting for Christmas like a week before).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I held this secret for weeks!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even recruited my friend, who does AMAZING make-up, I mean I went all out! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I even bought make-up, hair things and nail polish which was hard for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, it took us 2 ½ hours to get all done up and I looked great!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not exactly like how she looks in the movie but we put our own spin on it which makes it fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was driving over and people were staring at me (see Facebook pictures) but I kept telling myself it was worth it because it was going to make my friend happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I finally get there and there were some other party goers arriving at the same time and none of them knew who I was but I just figured they haven’t read the books so it was ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made my way to the door and I busted and was in the Ta-Da stance and she had this blank stare on her face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FAIL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had no idea who I was and by this time everyone at the party had stopped because I was the only one with stage makeup on to stare and try to figure out who I was. CRICKET. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure you have experienced this before also with like a movie or something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You talk this movie up at work and then when everyone finally gets together to watch it and you are cracking up but you are the only one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s always so weird when that happens, I mean what do you do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I informed them of who I was attempting to be and I think they gave me the pity “Oh yeah….” You all know what I am talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next time I don’t think I should be so outside the box :x<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good thing I am so use to people staring at my face and looking confused… I get that a lot….. So moral of the story, ask the excitement level of the event so you are not the one who looks like a super freak when everyone else looks less freakish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">*the Hunger Games….. all you need to know is that you need to read it…no seriously stop whatever you are doing right now and go buy all 3 books, you will be glad you did*</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-63366375399995617302012-02-08T11:14:00.001-08:002012-02-08T11:14:47.138-08:00Things to Do to Entertain Yourself at the Office<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have recently made the transition to office life and I am learning sometimes there is a ton of stuff to do while other times there is absolutely nothing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been coming up with things to entertain myself/keep myself<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>busy as I SLOWLY inch closer to quitting time (5pm).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to share my discoveries for the sake of all the other office people out there who are staring at the little clock in the corner of their computer screen, literally watching the seconds tick by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Depending on where you work or what kind of work you do, some of these might not be possible in your work setting so please proceed with caution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, I would like to throw out this disclaimer, when one is wasting time at work it is very important to do it secretly so if you get caught and fired, it’s not my fault…..</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Things to do at Work to Pass the Time:</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually do your work, I know this sounds straight forward but I recommend doing this before you goof around, might help your case if your boss does catch you</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stalk people on Facebook, I had to put this on the list cuz everyone does it, don’t deny it</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Write a letter to your grandma, they always love to hear from their grandchildren</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Watch Hulu or Netflix **super caution**<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>someone I know who does this, cough cough, leaves the mouse pointer on the pause button so if she hears someone coming she just clicks pause real click like nothing is going on…..</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Read something you have been meaning to read for a long time</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Make a paper clip chain out of every single paperclip you can find in the office</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take paper clip chain apart</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Separate paper clips by color and size</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Organize your desk</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">EAT!!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Create a budget for yourself, if you decide to take on this idea be sure to set aside a lot of time because it takes a while to figure out how to stretch your $50 to cover $293846558 in bills</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Text people</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">13.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Write a blog…..</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">14.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take up origami, this one is great cuz not only does it keep your hands busy but it also decorates your desk</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">15.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Get into couponing, there are a ton of websites you can watch to save some money!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">16.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Watch movie trailers for upcoming movies</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">17.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Check Facebook again</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">18.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Clinch your butt cheeks together as tight as you can for as long as you can, this is your workout time</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">19.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Go through the videos on Youtube, email your favorite discoveries to people</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">20.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Find new recipes to try at home</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">21.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Start at one end of the cubicles, slowly walk past all of them while you crop dust then turn around to watch the fumes hit the people, it’s like the wave, a fart wave…</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">22.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Spin in your chair as fast as you possibly can</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">23.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">See how long you can hold your breath</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">24.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Put a puzzle together</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">25.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Flick rubber bands at the person across from you</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">26.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Check Facebook</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">27.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Knit</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">28.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Glue your hands together with a glue stick, then once it dries pick all those white flakes off</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">29.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Write message on people’s lunches in the refrigerator</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">30.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Clean the Keurig coffee machine, which includes putting white vinegar in the machine, but “accidently” leave the ‘Do Not Use’ note off of the machine and see how many people drink vinegar coffee</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">31.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Throw a tissue into the air and keep blowing in it to keep it from hitting the floor, see how long you can keep it going</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">32.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Read the comics from the newspaper</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">33.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Get a slinky, play with it</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">34.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Create a flip book with a packet of post-its</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">35.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Get a head start on your Christmas shopping</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">36.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Read Hunger Games!!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">37.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Bring in army figures and do a complete civil war re-enactment</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">38.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take a rubber band, take a staple and fold in half, pull back rubber band and insert folded staple, shoot it at someone (this is called a hornet and it HURTS!! So watch out for pay back)</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">39.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take your phone apart and clean out all the cross cracks, where the lint hides and it’s been there for a long time</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">40.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check Facebook</span></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This pretty much sums up the day of an office person……well some office people, some people actually work at work….. like me… I have never done ANY of these before….. none of them…. until next time…</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-89722344987641509982012-01-26T11:58:00.000-08:002012-01-26T11:58:53.593-08:00Dating Advice: Farting Around Each Other<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s talk about a very important topic: farting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are people ashamed to admit that they fart? For example, I don’t understand these couples that don’t fart around each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean really guys?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a firm believer that the whole point of the dating process is to get to know each other, to let everything out (including farting).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand there is a certain amount of time that needs to go by before you let one rip in front of your partner (time span differs from couple to couple) but you can’t hold it in forever!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t go around letting them fly all the time when I was dating my husband, but after the allotted time frame we agreed on, if one slipped it was fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you establish this time frame you ask? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Number one it depends on the type of people involved, if you are introverted it will take much longer then for someone like me who is very extroverted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Number 2 honestly I would say you have to test the waters, let one slip one time and see how your significant other reacts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they laugh you have broken the barrier and y’all can let them fly but if they give you the stink eye, you might want to wait a while longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to offer a few words of caution to my readers:</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t let your first fart around them be in front of anyone else, it needs to be just you and them who should experience this milestone together</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t let it be a huge one or a baby one, let a medium size one slip, this way you’re not lying to them by letting a squeaker slip out and you don’t want to blow them away on the first time either</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">DO NOT fart on them for your first time!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This might of happened to someone I know…. Maybe….</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t do it in an enclosed place, like a car or elevator, they need to have access to a fresh air source</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do not fart where it is super-hot, that will intensify the smell, you are not trying to gage their reaction on the smell, save that for another day</span></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I hope this helps those who have been struggling with this sensitive topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If this advice does not work for you and it causes a break up, I cannot be held responsible. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be yourself around your significant other, especially if you think “this is the one”; don’t want to be accused of false advertisement so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Men, girls fart and no it does NOT smell like roses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ladies, its ok to fart around your men they will love you more for it....unless it is super pungent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until next time….</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-80210078827126348672012-01-23T07:52:00.000-08:002012-01-23T07:52:02.318-08:00Mullet/ Rat Tail Encounter<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not ashamed to share this experience with y'all but I am ashamed as to where it happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I said earlier, I will leave all of the names out of this for the safety/ dignity of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yesterday was Sunday so naturally we went to church, and my twin joined us for the service which was nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyways, we were all sitting together, jamming out to the worship music when I noticed something and I could not tear my eyes away from it!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to describe this as best as I can…. It was a cross between a mullet and a rat tail, like if they had a baby this would be it but I don’t know what to call it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Multail?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Ratlet?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, since we were in church I didn’t know how to react because normally I would share my findings with someone but I didn’t know what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, I turned to my twin and just stared at her and she looked at me and was like “yea I know!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see it too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would you call that??” (This is why we are twins because we know what each other is thinking) Unfortunately, my time of worship was dampened because of said discovery; I was just baffled and couldn’t wrap my mind around what I had found.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what it must feel like for archeologists to discover something never seen before by man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to see if this hair “style” had a name so I had to look it up so naturally I went to the soundest source I could find, Urban Dictionary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly I could not find anything because I didn’t know how to search for something I didn’t know the name of BUT I did find this list of alternative names for mullets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Defiantly a worthy discovery!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here it is:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ape Drape. Beaver Paddle. Bi - Level. Camero Cut. Buisness in the front, Party in the back. Canadian passport. Coupe Longveuil. El-camino. Hockey hair. Kentucky waterfall. Missouri compromise. Mudflap. Neckwarmer. Ranchero. Shlonc (short + long). Achy-breaky-bad-mistakey. Soccer rocker. Squirrel pelt. Tennessee top hat. Yep-nope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know about y’all but this made my day!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to spend the rest of my time at work making up my own alternative names for mullets, you should too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will conclude today’s post with interesting mullet facts, until next time…..</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Captain Planet had a green mullet, I had to look this one up and it was true</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">MacGyver had one but everyone knew that</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Emo kids have a reverse mullet</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chuck Norris, but that’s where his power lies</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Hulk had a mullet</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The bully from Camp Anawana had a ginger mullet</span></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">They claim popping your collar is what “killed” the mullet, the long portion would interfere with the collar so they had to choose, I don’t support popped collars but I think they made the right choice</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-54455652393878741542012-01-17T11:21:00.000-08:002012-01-17T11:21:10.728-08:00The Incident at the Gym<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have officially been married for 100 days now so that makes me an expert on… nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to say though, all the things that we heard before we got married like “money is the hardest” or “it’s a learning experience” are ALL TRUE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love being married please do not misunderstand me, we are just learning a bunch of new things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, this whole money/ finance business is super dumb and I don’t want to do it anymore!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are both very laid back people so there has never been any fighting over anything like this (there probably will be before we die) so we just keep making new ways to attack the bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, it is my turn to give it an old college try and it really opened my eyes when I sat down and looked at where all the money was going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I completely agree with whoever told us that we both need to be involved with the finances/ budgeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also makes you think twice before you spend something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While working my way through the bills and such, I saw that we were paying $53 a month for our gym membership.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I swore to myself that since we are paying that $53 a month I am going to get my $53 worth!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I went to the gym this morning at 6:30 and I rolled up in there ready to go!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to get on the bike and do some cardio, there I could zone out and just do my thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I got a little over-eager and picked the cardio program (this one changes the intensity until you reach your target heart rate).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started pedaling and could feel the resistance getting stronger and I just thought this is no problem I could do this for 20 minutes, no sweat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well after about 4 minutes and the pedals kept getting harder to pedal I decided to change the program quickly before anyone noticed :x.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went with the fat burner program which probably sounds harder but it’s not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then debated on whether or not to go and do free weights or the weight machines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to go and use the weight machines I mean how hard can they be right??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I basically jinxed myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to a machine which I have used before so I busted out 3 sets and decided to move on to one I have never used before. Feeling good and confident, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I adjusted the seat, got comfortable then looked for the diagram to show how to use the machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well the diagram is a hologram…. Who ever thought of this was stupid!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once sitting in the seat I could see figures #1 and #3 but #2 couldn’t be found.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pretty much had to turn myself upside down to see the thing and to get it to move, I had to slide back and forth in the chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I basically had to do a workout to figure out how to use the thing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know as well as I do that people were staring at me trying to figure out what I was doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never really figured out how to use the machine but I had already committed myself and I didn’t want to look like a complete idiot so I made something up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put my legs in it and moved them around a little bit, made some faces like I was straining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to do 3 sets of 10 of these “exercises” or else people would think I was a pansy or something. (We both know no one was concerned with me and my workout, I just had to do it… mental block against being a pansy) I am sure the bodybuilder men who were working out across from me knew I was doing it wrong and would have a good laugh at my expense later, which is fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moral of the story, stick with the machines you know how to use at the gym and if you don’t know how to use any, stick with the free weights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will say though this will not discourage me from trying again tomorrow I will just steer clear of the hologram machines.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might not have gotten my $1.71 worth of working out today but at least I gave some people a good laugh (including myself) until next time…….</span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-26504913038361376662012-01-11T07:38:00.000-08:002012-01-11T07:38:33.935-08:00This is Why.... #1<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I decided to create a mini-series that will occur ever so often throughout this blog called “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Why</b>”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this series I will explain why I feel a certain way about things or why things are the way they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So today kicks off the first ever “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Why”</b> series!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is why sharks are the worst things in the world!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other night my twin* and I were discussing movies and I mentioned a movie that had a lot of snakes in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She explained that she could not watch movies with a lot of snakes in them because they scare the poop out of her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared with her that my mother shares the same extreme fear with snakes, she squeals and jumps around whenever there could possibly be one around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My biggest fear is the ocean because I feel like you have no control out there and oh yea because of the sharks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My twin then explains that if you are ever attacked in the ocean by a shark you are supposed to punch it in the face, which I have heard before but I am going to be honest I see a large number of flaws with this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean think about it, say you see a shark swimming up towards you licking its lips:</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is your first thought going to be man I am going to punch that guy right in the nose?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No you are probably peeing yourself while being eaten.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You probably scream underwater, releasing all your air so you are going to have to swim away to get more air, resulting in your demise.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now say you do think about punching the shark, you really only have 2 chances (you only have 2 arms) You swing a “hard” (to be discussed in #4) punch at the shark but you’re in his element so he swerves and bites your arm off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You only have one more chance!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am betting that by the time he has snacked on your arm, the blood has attracted his friends/family over so you are screwed!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alright, as we all know from growing up and running around in the pool, we don’t move as fast in water as we do on land.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am assuming that since our legs don’t move as fast then our arms wont either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, even if Holyfield punches a shark it won’t do as much damage as it would if the shark was on our turf aka land.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I have come to a conclusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I go to the gym, forget the cardio or the weights, I need to invest in some underwater weights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I can submerge myself underwater to train myself to:</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">a)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">hold my breath for hours</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">b)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">be able to punch a hole in the side wall of the pool</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">c)</span><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">create a tourniquet out of my bathing suit to stop the bleeding if he does bite one of my arms off</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Forget preparing for a zombie apocalypse, we are surrounded by water, which basically means the sharks are already circling us, literally!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is why sharks/ the ocean are the worst!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On land you can squish spiders or run from snakes but when you are in the ocean you are in their territory!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing is worse than finding yourself in shark gang turf!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> S</span>o think carefully before getting into the ocean next time, is it worth all the hours of preparation beforehand so you can properly protect yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I believe my point has been made. </span>Until next time….</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">*I decided not to use people’s real names in the blog but you will know who you are when I talk about you.</span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-30087609666935808572012-01-09T08:44:00.000-08:002012-01-09T08:44:35.263-08:00Why Elly May?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Alright, I have been asked by multiple people “who is this Elly May?” so here is the explanation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Elly May is a character from the Beverly Hillbillies which was originally a TV show that was later made into a movie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Long story short, Jed Clampett was a simple country man who lived with his daughter Elly May, his nephew, Jethro and Granny out in the back woods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went out hunting one day and shot at a rabbit but the bullet went through the ground resulting in one of the largest oil finds in years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, Jed decides the family needs to up and move to LA so Elly May can learn to become a lady.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Elly May is very much a tom boy, loves to hunt, fish, wrestle, the list goes on)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘What does this have to do with her’ you may be asking yourself? Well, here is the story…. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up I loved to watch this movie pretty much for obvious reasons, I was a tom boy and so was she.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyways, one Sunday our children’s church group took a field trip to a pumpkin patch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should mention at this time that I was 6 at the time of this trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The regular kids from church were with us while one of the boys had invited a friend to come with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These boys were much older than me, I believe they were like in 5<sup>th</sup> grade but I am not too sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guy’s friend who came was being such a jerk!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was being so mean to everyone, especially my sister and my best friend growing up…. After watching this torment for a few hours I was getting tired of it and I decided that if he did something else he would be knocked down a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well sure enough he thought it would be a good idea to take my friends hat and not give it back, this was it for me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was time for him to have a meeting with Jesus!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ran over, body slammed him and buried his face in the sand while I had him in a headlock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Just a reminder, I was 6 while he was 11ish) It took 2 grown men to pull me off of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was very pleased with how I handled the situation but still have to say a little worried as to how my mother would react but it was worth it. I made it back to the church without being spoken to by the chaperones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once arriving at the church my mom was informed of the incident and of course she was not very happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my mom confronted me about it, our pastor was standing there at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I was more afraid of what he was going to do because I mean come on, he’s the pastor!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mom looks down and says “Lorin, girls don’t beat up boys!”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I turn to her and calmly respond “Elly May does”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My pastor and everyone within hearing distance busted out laughing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needless to say I was not punished for my choices; apparently the kid was getting on the chaperone’s nerves as well so I was just doing everyone a favor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After that the nickname just stuck!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still carry the name with pride </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> until next time…..</span></div>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3043955818103790284.post-38052924920966343232012-01-07T21:07:00.000-08:002012-01-07T21:07:24.970-08:00Introduction/ Explanation/ Apology<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Welcome to my blog!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I apologize for the delayed post but I thought it would be more dramatic to write my first post as a 25 year old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (ps if you look up you can planly see the date above claims it is still the 7th, well its wrong i stayed up until 12 am to post this on my actual birthday) </span>I have only been 25 for a few moments but I have to be honest it feels very similar to 24…. actually the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are probably saying to yourself “wow, 25! That’s a big deal! Did she go out and get smashed? Go to a rave? Make an animal sacrifice?” no, I did no such thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually welcomed in my new age by sitting at home alone, watching Xena (yes the warrior princess and no this is not how I pictured I would be spending my 25<sup>th</sup> birthday).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I am sure many of you are laughing at me which is to be expected, actually that is one of the main reasons why I decided to write this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life and I seem to be a magnet for rather interesting incidents. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of you who are reading this are either family or friends so you know my mind does not work like a normal person’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I decided this would be a good way to get my thoughts out there, maybe even make you think a little bit about something you would never give the time of day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, have you ever thought about this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was watching an episode of the show ‘Lie to Me’ the other day and on the episode one of the scientists was being held hostage and used as a human shield with the gun pointed at her head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well at one point the assailant started shooting off in another direction while still holding the hostage, normal people would be thinking ‘wow that sure would be scary.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What went through my mind in a matter of milla-seconds was wow that would scare the pee out of me, hmm wonder if she is peeing herself? If she is peeing herself wouldn’t it seep through her pants and get on her attacker? I wonder if this has ever happened in real life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like this is a valid question to be honest but as my brother pointed out, in a real life situation it would probably be inappropriate to ask a victim if they peed themselves while they were being held hostage, it could be considered a sensitive subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess he has a point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, this blog is really going to be a place where people can experience what it would be like to be inside my brain so please read with caution (not for children), bring a snack along and perhaps go to the bathroom beforehand because like I said you will be laughing at my expense very often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will discuss everything from what it’s like being a newly wed in an interracial marriage to what I ate for breakfast. I openly welcome your comments/ feedback and please, if you need advice on anything feel free to ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I am 25 years old I would love to pass on some of the wisdom I have collected throughout my years on this earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cannot guarantee my advice is good but I can guarantee it will be……creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am excited to share my life journey with whoever decides they are bored enough to read this, so please tell your friends </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>until next time….</span>EllyMayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00144784488951869962noreply@blogger.com0