**Warning for the men- this blog will discuss some lady only topics, I am not saying you can’t read it I am just saying prepare yourself**
Alright ladies there are some things I need to get off my chest and yes this is in regards to everyone’s favorite time of the month, ladies time. Now in my household we do not refer to it by its real name because that’s gross we call it ladies time. We also do not refer to the ‘items by their real name either we mostly call those push pops (my husband invented that) but I have also heard them referred to as plungers, pooter plugs (this one is not accurate) mense mops, plug in, cotton pony, roadblock, rat-tail, vaginal vampires (lol), pig in a blanket, manhole covers, pink pop tarts, and the red carpet. I personally think it is way more fun to call it something else then the obvious but then again I am 2 years old. The whole reasoning behind this blog though was I noticed something the other day when I was cleaning out my bathroom cabinet, there are motivational sayings written on the outside wrapper of my push pops, seriously I am not kidding. I don’t know why anyone would choose to write something there, we don’t buy them to read our fortune but after making this discovery I emptied the box onto the floor so I could read everything they had to say. I found things like smile, life is a sport, always take the high road and shoot for the stars. I feel bad for the marketing people who have had to stoop to the level of writing the quips for the tampon wrappers, times ARE hard! Also, I would like to discuss another kind of wrapper I believe they are Kotex ones but those wrappers are like fluorescent bright colors! Like the colors you would wear to the bowling alley on the nights they have the black lights on! I mean come on really? I don’t want the whole office to know I am on my ladies time because I don’t care what color pants you are wearing those colors will shine through anything! Maybe the marketing team thought they would look like glow sticks or something but they failed! Heres the deal, everyone knows about ladies time and we have all accepted it but nobody wants/ needs to know when it’s your ladies time because you are carrying a glow stick with you to the bathroom. The best part about the glow stick plungers is that they are the small concealed kind, you know the ones where they are half the size so you can hide them in your pocket better…well ya failed design team because they might fit in your pocket better but the super bright colors might give them away.
Men, why is it so terrifying to you to touch or even talk about lady items? I asked my husband before we got married if I was at home sick or something and I needed some supplies if he would go to the store for me and you know what he said? He said he would text one of my lady friends to go get them for me. Then I asked what was he going to do when our 13 year old daughter needed to go to the store for some, he replied he would pull up to the target and push her out of the car to go get some. I don’t really understand why they are so afraid of them. One time on a mission trip the boys snuck into our room and switched off our circuit breakers, well we went into their room and silly stringed all their stuff. We knew they were going to retaliate so we decided to booby trap our room and we took all of our feminine supplies and threw them all over the room and man did it work! The next time we saw them it was like they had seen a ghost! Works every time! So girls if there is only 1 cookie left and you don’t want your man to eat it just place it on a pad and you are golden! Until next time…..
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