Dating Advice: Farting Around Each Other

Let’s talk about a very important topic: farting.  Why are people ashamed to admit that they fart?  For example, I don’t understand these couples that don’t fart around each other.  I mean really guys?  I am a firm believer that the whole point of the dating process is to get to know each other, to let everything out (including farting).  I understand there is a certain amount of time that needs to go by before you let one rip in front of your partner (time span differs from couple to couple) but you can’t hold it in forever!  I didn’t go around letting them fly all the time when I was dating my husband, but after the allotted time frame we agreed on, if one slipped it was fine.  How do you establish this time frame you ask?  Number one it depends on the type of people involved, if you are introverted it will take much longer then for someone like me who is very extroverted.  Number 2 honestly I would say you have to test the waters, let one slip one time and see how your significant other reacts.  If they laugh you have broken the barrier and y’all can let them fly but if they give you the stink eye, you might want to wait a while longer.  I would like to offer a few words of caution to my readers:

1.       Don’t let your first fart around them be in front of anyone else, it needs to be just you and them who should experience this milestone together

2.       Don’t let it be a huge one or a baby one, let a medium size one slip, this way you’re not lying to them by letting a squeaker slip out and you don’t want to blow them away on the first time either

3.       DO NOT fart on them for your first time!!  This might of happened to someone I know…. Maybe….

4.       Don’t do it in an enclosed place, like a car or elevator, they need to have access to a fresh air source

5.       Do not fart where it is super-hot, that will intensify the smell, you are not trying to gage their reaction on the smell, save that for another day

I hope this helps those who have been struggling with this sensitive topic.  If this advice does not work for you and it causes a break up, I cannot be held responsible.  Be yourself around your significant other, especially if you think “this is the one”; don’t want to be accused of false advertisement so to speak.  Men, girls fart and no it does NOT smell like roses.  Ladies, its ok to fart around your men they will love you more for it....unless it is super pungent.  Until next time….